I wrote this at the last
Writing Club <3 and randomly felt compelled to share it here. I added a little more to what I wrote at the club to give it an ending. Enjoy.Ring Ring.
OMG. I’m getting a Snapchat FaceTime from Jason Kelce, Taylor Swift’s boyfriend’s fatter, bushier older brother!!!
Who the freak calls someone on Snapchat?? That seems like something a person with allegations would do. Whatever. I love that big sweaty man.
“Hey,” he says, on Snapchat FaceTime.
“Hiiiiiiii,” I respond. I’m sooooo young.
Also, btw, I am talking to him from a Pacific Blue iPhone 12 Pro Max.
There’s a pause and Jason looks bored. Ugh. Should I kill myself?
Because it’s Snapchat, I put on the dog filter, you know the one. I go crazy with the tongue part of the dog filter.
He starts being awesome. I knew he’d like it. Straight people are so addicted to dogs it’s unreal.
“I have a request,” says Jason.
“Can you please give me the discount code to your TikTok shop so I can buy the viral Dubai Chocolate Bar? I need it. I need it asf.”
“Maybe…” I say, trying to seem uninterested.
“I really want that yummy Dubai Chocolate. I’m ravenous for the stuff.”
At this point in my life, the fact that Jason Kelce is asking for the code to my TikTok shop so he can buy the viral Dubai Chocolate Bar is crazy and freaky and I feel like so cool and powerful like the president or something idk. I just have this power now, like I could twerk or something like that.
I look at my phone and see that Jason has put on a filter that makes him look Yassified.
“Haha. You look totally freaking magic rn,” I say.
“Thx, bud,” he grunts. “Do you wanna go to my game tmr? I want a boy with bangs to be there.”
OMG. What am I gonna wear to this football game? I start shaking a little.
“Yes, but only if you buy me a Meta Headset so I can watch And Just Like That from the sidelines,” I barter.
“Of course, bro. I gotchu.”
The tongue part of the dog filter goes off. Yassssss.
The end.